Absolute Yes's and Absolute No's

I was fortunate to interview Gay and Katy Hendricks last week. We did two interviews, one on his latest book, The Biggest Leap and the other on conscious relationships and conscious loving. Both interviews will be posted to the site in the next few weeks on ChangeNation, so check back in.

In the meantime, I've been asking people—single people—an important question that Gay asked me. "What are your three absolute yes's and your three absolute no's as far as your life partner goes? Most people are unclear on what they will not accept, or radically do not want. But when chemistry gets in the picture, they forget those, lower their standards or what their souls really crave and need and then they end up in trouble.

So, for example, absolutes no's could be—not being able to be with someone who doesn’t want children or who already has children, not being with someone who smokes and is unhealthy, not being with someone who is financially irresponsible, and so on. You get the idea.

The absolute yes's could be—must be committed to a spiritual path, must be older or the same religion or love animals, must be honest or funny.

The yes’s and no’s really make you think and once you're clear, it’s much easier to find a good match. It’s when you're not in a relationship that you have more clarity, not when you're in the throes of a brand-new relationship with someone.

So what are your yes’s and no’s? Once you have them, keep them close by. Then really make a commitment to finding that person. One last tip though, make sure that you are already living your absolutes. So, for example, if you want someone who is healthy, make sure you are.