I am overcoming the same feelings you speak of by starting my own home based business. I was laid off last month and my wife and I are so broke we can't pay attention but I know if I keep doing what I've been doing, I'm going to continue getting the same results, being broke. I used to earn 6 figures but have not come close in the past two years. My career was in RV Sales, needless to say there aren't many RV's selling now. I found a great home business after doing my due diligence for two months and am now excited and passionate about the future again. If you would like to check out the people who are helping me go to Swanlifestyle.com and tell them Lance Hansen sent you. I am learning so much every day and making progress towards my goal of being retired in my 40's ! I am almost 41 now and I truly believe it can be done now, and not spending more than 12 hours a week to do it . I am taking action to change things and I know you can too as I am certain my situation is probably a little worse financially than yours. I hope this helps and I wish you the best in overcoming your fears and living your dreams. Lance

I think the only way you will feel better is to take control. First, you must know where you are right now. Sit down with the bank statement and balance the check book. Next, make a list of every bill you have and the amount due. If you have credit card debt that you just can't pay, consider a nonprofit consumer credit counseling service. If the debt is something you can handle, call the card provider and request their best interest rate or look for balance transfer opportunities. Need help with your utility bill or rent? Contact local nonprofits such as United Way or Lutheran Social Services. Worse case scenario, you can't pay your mortgage. Call your lender and request a work out agreement. You can do it!
One last suggestion...poke around online sites like Money.com for great tips on hidden resources. For example, if either of you are working why not change your withholding to free up some immediate funds? Of course, you'll have to plan how you'll pay the tax man next April but it may help with your more immediate needs.

I've been there too and it's not a good way to live. You really need to set up a spending plan to prioritize what you pay and when you pay it. It's probably a good idea to track where your money goes now.

I know what you're thinking - I can't cut out lattes or manicures because I'm not spening my money on those things. I hear you. There are still ways you can direct more money where you need it while spending less on food or energy. It would help if you could get your husband onboard with this idea, but do it with or without him. Your financial health depends on it.

Remember to do what you can and don't sweat the rest. Be grateful for what you have and what you can afford. Keep optimistic and instead of dwelling on what you couldn't pay, be grateful for what you were able to pay.

Good luck!

That is overwhelming—I've definitely been there!

Have you already taken the step of seeing where you can cut things out? I'm sure that you have but it might be worth taking a look again—sometimes "necessities" like cable and cell phones have to go until you get back on track. You say you have no control over your finances—that is untrue! Don't allow your husband and his "cavalier" attitude to sink your dreams!

Check out some books by Suze Orman or Dave Ramsey at your local library. Their websites have great info as well. They've got straightforward and empowering advice for taking control of your finances!

You CAN gain control of your finances. Good luck!