Secrets to Making Change Easier
4. Change Demons: How to Recognize Negative Emotions and Move Past Them
People who move easily through change know that every challenging emotion can be replaced with a positive emotion that will help strengthen their resolve to move through change in a calmer, more optimistic way. The Change Demons—the negative emotions of fear, doubt, impatience, blame, guilt and shame that rear their ugly heads during change—can each be substituted for a brighter emotion.
Replace fear with faith. The next time fear shows up, find your faith—faith in yourself, in spirituality, in Life or in the certainty that this situation will change.
Replace doubt with surrender. During change, it’s natural to doubt. The next time you feel doubtful, trust that things will resolve themselves and become clear.
Replace impatience with endurance. It’s natural to want to charge through change as quickly as possible. But the next time you feel impatient, remember that every change depends on your endurance—your ability to wait for the next phase of your life to progress at its own pace.
Replace blame with honesty. During change, we often look for someone to blame for the pain or stress that we’re experiencing. When you find yourself blaming someone, especially yourself, get radically honest by asking yourself: “What’s the truth?” “What’s really happening?” “What can I do to make it better?”
Replace guilt with forgiveness. People have the ability to feel guilty about anything. The next time you feel guilty, forgive yourself and make your guilt a thing of the past.
Replace shame with honor. The changes you’re experiencing may cause you to feel ashamed of what’s happening in your life. When shame comes up, use it as an opportunity to honor your choices, decisions and mistakes.
5. The Gift of Acceptance: Resisting Change is Not the Answer
Change Optimists know that the quicker they accept change, the less pain and hardship they will feel. When you accept change, it means that you take in your new circumstances without fighting, arguing, explaining or asking, “What if?”
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If you can do so and have the ability to spend the time with the animal, I strongly recommend going to your local pound or animal rescue and giving a pet a home. I did this after massive change, addiction and depression. I was on, medical leave from a position as a scientist to deal with a massive vicodin addiction. I was asked to go home during yet another withdrawal session mid FDA audit. It was clear to colleagues I was spiraling for months and no one wanted me talking to FDA.. I was paranoid, antisocial and erratic in my behavior. I was exposed as not just eccentric smart educated person..but a waste of brains, looks (did some modeling) and education. Didn't even wash or comb my hair anymore and I was officially deemed a suicide risk by my doctor.
Always an animal lover I made sure I could care for one properly first...even in this state neglecting an animal is not an option..EVER.. I brought this Maine coon home..then another. Being responsible for these gifts from God and the nonjudging companionship helped me heal in ways I can explain and all my therapy, science and medication helped but these animals were what made me feel "never alone".. I would consider a pet and if you already have one...realizing you have a gift during your change right in your midst.
Does anyone know where I can find deep technical information about smart cards?. I'm doing a report for the company I'm working for.
marqthompson
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#5 is such an important step. Resistance has been a big enemy of my ability to acctpe changes readily, most of the time.
The biggest change I have ever made was emigrating from England to America and the first 3 months were very hard, I had extreme moments of elation and depression. I think friends and family are the best resource for making change easier. If you can work on your social skills then change can be easy! Just build that safety net of supporters and you can achieve your dreams :)
This is awesome! Thanks for the Post!
hi,my name is sandra,and you couldn't be that article about change i'll read this everyday,because that is exactly what i needed,i'm into the changeing business and with god by my side[and i know he is] my change is going to come,2009 the lord is going to change me in so many ways,so i want to thank you for that article may god bless you and keep you AMEN
Hi. iam Shirley N. I Im having a problem, of leeting go of the PAST! it has made me SUFFER 4life! Im a victum of aBAD CRIME! How do i let this go and move on without FEAR! by my side?? I DO PRAY! AND I HAVE BEEN IN JESUS CHRIST ARMS FOE REAL>> Ive been over THEE OTHER SIDE" how PEACEFUL IT IS>.. I live alone, and have been alone for 19yrs. Never Married. im 44yrs old. I need CHANGE in my life. He will Deliver me from FEAR! soon. I need a loyal friend is it u? Shirley S
I just lost my husband in an industrial accident at his job. (On our wedding Anniversary). He was crushed to death. The best advice I've been given so faris, Write a letter to him., Turn the paper over and write a letter to YOU from your deceased friend,loved one,spouse. It'll brin
g ALOT of HEALING tears. you don't have to burn it. Actually It will probably help you to keep it so you can look back on it when your having a very sad day. God love all of you. Christyb62
Hi, Espresso
I know what you mean. We talk about this a lot. How can losing a loved one be a good change?
I think it's in the way you look at it. When someone has been in pain or suffering I try to view their passing as a blessing and reason why they had to be taken from us ... what lesson I am to learn or how can I continue their legacy and honor their memory.
When I'm at a wake or a funeral I'm often struck by someone holding an infant ... knowing they brought the baby because they had to (no one to take care of the baby while they paid their respects) but seeing it as an acknowledgment of the cycle of life.
My best friend died of breast cancer when she was only 30 -- she hadn't even begun to live -- and I still haven't figured that one out yet, only I hope somehow her loss taught us all a lesson and I know her memory never fades for me.
I love this site, but would appreciate some acknowledgement that not all change brings "great things around the corner," such as my friend who is in chemo for leukemia and will need a bone marrow transplant (no matching donors yet) or my other friend who died of ovarian cancer a few years ago.
Sometimes bad stuff just happens. If there is a better way to think about this, please let me know!
Question:
Need to change my account on Site emails being sent to me.
Thank you
I have already started this. WOrks great. Even have ny daughter working on it.
wow- this made me really think. I liked the part about replacing victim vocabulary with empowering words.