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Our Breaking Up Experts

MJ Acharya

MJ Acharya

Author, blogger and healer of broken hearts

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Mike Riley

Mike Riley

Co-author of How To Heal A Broken Heart In 30 Days

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Melissa Kantor

Melissa Kantor

Author of the young adult novel The Breakup Bible

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Q&A

If you have questions about this change, you're in the right place. Our editors, experts, and community of change optimists have answers!

cristagali

Question:When will the thoughts and fantazies of us getting back to gether stop?

Hi
I stop seeing this guy and it's been a month and one week. See I am not over him if I can tell how long it's been. Now I'm having thoughts of him calling me and wanting to get back together. I know it won't happen but how can I remove these thoughts and fantazies about him?

Asked by cristagali on 8/19/09 3 Answers»
Forseer

Answer:

That's very good advice MJ and some I'm using myself. I've recently broken up with someone. And eventhough I know I did the right thing for me, I'm still going through all the what could have, should have beens. I'm doing exactly what you are suggesting here, when I start thinking about him I get my mind on something else. And so far it's working :) I wish you a smooth transistion cristagali... All the best to you for a brighter future...

Answered by: Forseer on 11/28/09
cristagali

Answer:

Hi
thanks so much. For a while there I thought I was going to go insane. Then pick up the telephone and call to say I made a mistake. Which I have not done(thanks goodness)
Thanks again

Answered by: cristagali on 8/24/09
MJ Acharya

Answer:

Hey girl,

You can't remove the thoughts immediately, but you can phase them out.

When you find yourself fantasizing about him, start fantasizing about something else. Maybe think about what you would do if you won the lotto. Or what would happen if you ran into your favorite celebrity on the street and he asked you out for a cup of coffee. Or maybe conjure up a sexy fantasy in your mind with a stranger...

Positive daydreams are healthy. They serve as a temporary escape from the demands of reality. Daydreaming is also a good way to release pent up frustrations and leave the world behind. Daydreaming relieves stress, improves attitude, fosters creativity and refreshes the mind, body and spirit.

Check out my blog for more advice: Link. Additionally, I wrote a book called The Breakup Workbook that will really help you get through this time.

Answered by: MJ Acharya on 8/20/09
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