We broke up on Christmas Eve. We were arguing a lot about the fact that he doesn't make time for us. Sometimes 3 weeks would go by, and although I would talk to him everyday I still wouldn't spend time with him.The quarrels got to him and he ended it. I feel like I pushed him away with the quarreling.He also revealed in that last conversation that I probably had insecurity issues from my last relationship and after some advice and thought he decided now wasn't a good time for us. He still feels strongly for me but he doesn't have the time for this relationshp.I did not take it easy.Days after he kept calling me like old times, coming by my place, being affectionate, planning for us to go out...After one week of this we had an argument and he blurted out that we were not together anymore.I told him I was confused by his actions and I need my space. He said okay.That wasn't a nice conversation; I cried a lot in front of him.He seemed very upset and like he just wanted to get away from me.It's been 3 days..he hasn't contacted me. I have deleted his email account, messenger account,phone numbers..everything but his facebook account.He has deactivated his but I know he checks up on me.Should I delete this too? Should I block him from FB?But then Idon't want to have to add him again later on when we become "friends"...But I'm having a hard time moving on because I miss him alot, and although I know there is someone/something better for me at the end of this, I still feel like I was not good enough for him to want to try to make it work, to make time for...like he doesn't love me enough, like I'm not worth it. Sometimes I believe he will come back. The same way I miss him, he misses me too. Right? But the only reason he misses me is becuase he chooses everyday not to be with me.
I haven't called.I'm very good at no contact.I'm not very good and believing that this has happened for the best, God is a God of justice, everything is for a time, etc. etc. etc.
I want to stop having hope, to stop wondering if he misses me.I want to not care whether he misses me or not; whther he's angry or not; if he ever loved me;how much he loved me.
I just want to forget, but at the same time I don't want to ruin any chances of him coming back.
I know you will all say "MOVE ON", but how do i do this? I'm very busy, I have friends, but I still hurt a lot, especially first thing in the morning and last thing at night.
Help me to stop berating myself and realize this is for the best.My destiny is not tied to someone that left me.