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Author of the young adult novel The Breakup Bible
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Jumping into another relationship right after a breakup is one of the biggest mistakes people make. Instead, take some time to be alone, to mourn and reflect on what was good and bad about the relationship and what you eventually want from your next partner.
| "Ariane is a new voice who can inspire and inform all of us going through change, whether it be big or small, professional or personal. The First 30 Days will encourage people going through change to go from being fearful and alone to feeling optimistic and transformed."— David Bach, New York Times best-seller | "Since change is the only constant in life, it helps to have an expert navigate through the ups and downs of life. The First 30 Days is an excellent guide."— Deepak Chopra, New York Times best-seller | "Essential reading for anyone going through a change. I loved it!"— Wayne Dyer, New York Times best-seller |
Jeannette, I think you need to figure out who you want to be with and then make the move. It's not fair to you, your current husband or your ex. Just search your heart, and do what's the most reasonable thing for all. I wish you the best :)
I'm just now ending a 13 month long "rebound" relationship. So I agree that jumping right into something else without healing from the first relationship is a huge mistake.
Okay, here it is in a nutshell. I have been married for 31 years. I hooked up with my ex from high school 12 years ago. We had a tumultuous relationship. There were numerous things going on in my life such as health issues, mom committed suicide, dad moved away, daughter ran away and got into a domestic violence situation and has three children, her ex went to jail for 40+ years. My ex was dying, has diabetes, recently had two heart attacks and moved away. Now it is my husband and me again. I cannot move on from my ex, I love him but he cannot get his life together due to sickness and lack of employment. I am suffering from a very bad back and cannot work. My husband is a good guy, but I am just not into the physical, emotional connection. He is a big man 340 pounds and is loud, opinionated but says he loves me intensely. Yes, he found out about the relationship and chose to stay with me. I am trying to move on, but miss my ex and the connection we had together. My husband and I have children and grandchildren and I don't want to risk losing them, but I deserve to be happy too, don't I? Please help me figure all this out. I am open to criticism, as I deserve it, but still need to move on. I am a very caring, emotional person. It is hard for me to see beyond my situation and be critical and analytical. Therapy was not the answer, 8 year with a psychologist and psychiatrist and no help. I quit the medication over two years ago. I feel like I am coming to cross road, just need help getting there.
I'm in this situation. My boyfriend (of 3 years!) and I broke up in April, but he only moved out in July. I went out with a guy in June who I knew a little, but NEVER expected anything to happen with. (Or I probably would have waited to go out with him). Two months later and like 30 dates later...yeah.
I thought I needed time alone, and at some point I probably will, but I've never felt so alive...and happy, even if temporarily. I'm still working through things, but sometimes life just "happens"!