|
Susan Soon-Keum Cox on Adopting a Child
In 1956, after the Korean War, four-year-old Susan Soon-Keum Cox was one of the first Korean adoptees whisked away from her homeland to the safety of the United States. Cox now paves the way for the adoption of children from many nations in her job as the vice president of public policy and external affairs for Holt International Children’s Services—the same agency that placed her in America. She’s been involved with heritage camps for mixed-heritage families of adoption and has led tours to Korea for adult adoptees, adoptive families and adopted couples. She’s the author of Voices from Another Place: A Collection of Works from a Generation Born in Korea and Adopted to Other Countries. Here, Cox talks about the adoption process.
What are the first steps in adopting a child?
When a family begins looking to adopt, they don’t realize how much they don’t know. This will be one of the most important decisions they’ll ever make. Sometimes, people make more of an effort in buying a house than researching how to adopt. The more you know at the front end of adopting, the better off you’ll be. Collecting information on what your next 30 days will entail will help you make decisions.
You need to be informed and there are so many resources on the internet. To help narrow down your interests in terms of adoption in a non-biased way, I suggest going to the web site for Child Welfare Information Gateway and click on the adoption information. It’s a great, neutral resource that talks about all the different kinds of adoptions, agencies, private, public and more.
You should learn about the resources and adoption laws in your own state. Visit adoption blogs and adoptive parent sites to get a hint at what it all means. People from all angles have their own biases; you have a view of it all. Then you can narrow down your own choices.
During the first 30 days, how important is it for prospective parents to talk with veteran adoptive parents?
You can look at all the information and brochures you want, but you’ll put your trust first in another parent who relates how it happened for them. Adoptive parents are very invested in being a resource or being advocates for those who come after them. They want to find families for the children still left behind.
These parents remember the unknowing that they went through during the beginning of the process. You’ll get a different perspective from a parent than from an agency. Sure, you’ll have important relationships of trust with your social worker or adoption attorney, but those people have a lot of other things to do instead of endlessly saying, “How are you doing today?” You can be frankly honest with an adoptive family. There are no judgments attached to it. Adoptive parents—like the adoptees as they grow up—need to know they’re not alone in their feelings.
What are the pros and cons to an international adoption?
Adopting internationally provides a rich, new culture and heritage to a family. It expands the scope of a bigger world. It eliminates barriers. Children have that capacity to transcend races and all the complicated things that we, as adults, deal with everyday.
International adoptions can be more streamlined. Many times, children have been relinquished and their legal identities have been established. The domestic process has gotten a lot better, but sometimes the international process has fewer layers and is less cumbersome.
On the other hand, you may get to learn about a new culture, but it’s a world away. That can make things complicated when it comes to transportation, finances and the culture.
What are the major differences in the adoption process for international adoptions?
Not only do you have to deal with laws and procedures of our own country, but you’ll have to deal with the laws and procedures of a different country. You’ll be dealing with an entirely different government, policies, language and culture. Logistically and geographically, it might be hard to get there if you need to go to the country.
How long does it take to adopt a child internationally and what are the costs?
It has become much longer than it used to be. Many times, it used to be a year. Now, we tell people it’s closer to two years. The costs range from $15,000 to $25,000 and up.
When searching for an adoption agency, adoption lawyer or facilitator, what are some red flags?
You should be able to ask as many questions as you want. If they have been around a long time, they know what they’re doing. Ask if they’re non-profit or for-profit. If the motivating factor is profit, that might not be a good match for your own beliefs. And just because an agency is non-profit, that doesn’t mean there aren’t expenses involved.
Ask if their license has ever been revoked and why. Ask for their audited financial statements. If they say “no,” ask “why not?” Ask about their post-adoption support. Ask what kind of support they supply while in the other country. Ask if they require the overseas fee in cash, and who delivers the money.
What advice would you give to parents for the first 30 days after the child comes home?
Make sure there’s enough private time to bond with the child. While there are many eager family and friends who want to see the new family member, the priority is that the family needs to be together and learn about each other without too many distractions. Particularly for older children who are old enough to know what’s going on around them, they need to know they’re comfortable and safe with their new parents and surroundings.
SIGNATURE QUESTIONS
What is the belief you personally go to during times of change?
[I] try to be still and listen to my instincts as I move forward.
“The best thing about change is...”
...It takes you to another place and you sometimes discover courage you didn’t know you had.
What’s the best change you have ever made?
To celebrate my 40th birthday, I decided to take back my Korean name: Soonkeum. It was the beginning of truly connecting to the Korean part of me and to my birth heritage.
For more information on Susan Soon-Keum Cox, visit www.holtinternational.org
Voices from Another Place: A Collection of Works from a Generation Born in Korea and Adopted to Other Countries
Riveting stories from children who have been adopted into other countries....
| "Ariane is a new voice who can inspire and inform all of us going through change, whether it be big or small, professional or personal. The First 30 Days will encourage people going through change to go from being fearful and alone to feeling optimistic and transformed."— David Bach, New York Times best-seller | "Since change is the only constant in life, it helps to have an expert navigate through the ups and downs of life. The First 30 Days is an excellent guide."— Deepak Chopra, New York Times best-seller | "Essential reading for anyone going through a change. I loved it!"— Wayne Dyer, New York Times best-seller |
Family Being Pregnant Being a New Dad Grieving Stepparenting
Home Selling a Home Buying a Home Surviving a Natural Disaster Creating a Green Home Your Empty Nest Remodeling Your Kitchen Buying a New Car
Relationships Improving Your Sex Life Getting Divorced Breaking Up Finding Romance Improving Relationships Dating Online
New Directions Pursuing Your Dreams Being Happier Changing Your Look Getting Organized Making Change Easier Moving to a New City Living More Spiritually Meditating Going Green
Health Dealing With Depression Quitting Smoking Managing Breast Cancer
Save Your Relationship and Get Your Ex Boyfriend/Girlfriend Back!contact: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com is certainly the best spell caster online and his result is 100% guarantee.
My Name Olivia Stephen form Tx,USA. After 12years of marriage, me and my husband has been into one quarrel or the other until he finally left me and moved to California to be with another woman. I felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. i tried to be strong just for the kids but i could not control the pains that torments my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because i was really in love with my husband. Every day and night i think of him and always wish he would come back to me, I was really upset and i needed help, so i searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested that Dr Unity can help get ex back fast. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and i did it then he did a Love spell for me. 28 hours later, my husband really called me and told me that he miss me and the kids so much, So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and the kids. Then from that day,our Marriage was now stronger than how it were before, All thanks to Dr Unity. he is so powerful and i decided to share my story on the internet that Dr.Unity real and powerful spell caster who i will always pray to live long to help his children in the time of trouble, if you are here and you need your Ex back or your husband moved to another woman, do not cry anymore, contact this powerful spell caster now. Here’s his contact:Email him at: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com ,or Call/WhatsApp him on:+2348071622464 ,his website:https://unityspelltemple126848969.wordpress.com .
This is the most wonderful thing i have ever experienced. I visited a forum here on the internet on the 17 APRIL 2016, and i saw a marvelous testimony of Tracie Aldana from United States on the forum about the good works DR.AKHERE. I never believed it, because have never heard anything about such miracle before. No body would have been able to convince me about it not until DR.AKHERE did a marvelous work for me that restored my marriage of 4 years by getting back my divorced husband just as i read on the internet. Am ROBERT JENNFER from USA. I was truly shocked when my husband knelt down pleading for forgiveness to accept hiM back. I am really short of words to use to show my appreciation to DR.AKHERE. For his a God sent to me and my entire family for divine restoration of marriage. Contact him now for any kind or help via Email: AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com
My love life has changed for better since the interference of the most powerful spell caster on earth called Dr.Atase in my relationship, My testimony today is in regard of the help that Dr.Atase render me when my lover departed from me. My name is Anabel from USA and it gives me joy today in writing this testimony as a way of showing my appreciation to Dr.Atase and at the same time i am using this opportunity to advise those that are finding stress and pains in their relationship or marriages to contact Dr.Atase who is the best spell caster in the world through these contact details via email: indiaspelltemple@yahoo.com or his number +2348112796070.Because Dr.Atase is the only one that can restore your marriage or relationship with love. He can also help to win lottery spell,contract,sickness and more.