I just want to say that I am in this exact same situation. So I completely understand your feelings. The last time I tried to leave my husband he went out of control and I feared for my safety. I stayed and still planning on leaving, but I am going to move everything out and then tell him, so that I have a safe place to go after I gauge his reaction. Trust your instincts, I say. And be safe rather than " nice".

This was a long time ago and I was very young but I told my ex that I needed some time and space to figure things out. I moved very far away and filed for divorce. Immature yes...but I was scared out of my mind. Also you should know that some states REQUIRE a period of separation before the divorce can take place.

Much depends on what you mean by ready and scared. You've packed your bags, the moving van is outside and you fear for your life or you're resolute about your decision to separate and you think the conversation might be tense.