Our Parents can only be here forever in spirit.....

lost_unsure

I feel your pain. Losing one parent is hard enough, losing both must be an incredible weight on your heart. I don't know what you are supposed to learn or if there is even a lesson. You question faith when you hear things like this, but always fall back on there being a higher power or grand plan in place.

I call my mother just about every night. She's come to depend on it and sometimes we even have a laugh or two, which is nice. We always end with "i love you," which wasn't always the case. It took my parents moving 1500 miles before we finally started saying that.

Lean on your family and friends as much as you can. Let your husband know you need him to step up a bit right now. Tell your therapist what is in your heart and what you can't get out of your mind. I'm sure it won't be the first time he/she has heard what you have to say. That's what they are there for ... to listen and help you make sense of what you're feeling.

Find a grief support group. Being with other people going through a similar situation can be very helpful. Just to know you are not alone can make a huge difference in your outlook.

Journaling is something many people recommend. It's helpful to get your thoughts and feelings out on paper sometimes ... just let it all flow.

Much love to you.

This is a difficult time for me right now. I lost both my parents in August 2008 in a boating accident. I spent my lunch hours hanging out with my mom, either walking in the park, meeting at a restaurant or at my house so she could help me clean. Even though I saw her everyday for lunch I would talk to her almost ever night and could hear my dad saying encouraging words in the background. I feel stuck. Like I have no one that cares for me anymore or anyone I can trust. I have an older brother whom I am close too and I am also married but my husband is not that reliable. While my parents were alive I always felt that they were the only ones I needed in my life to love and to trust. I am not sure how to move past all of this. I started seeing a thereapist right after since I already suffered from depression but I don't know how to explain to her how I feel. I am extremely sad but also in denial that they are gone. I am thankful that the conversation I had with my mom the day of the accident was a nice one. I told her I loved them. I just feel so lost.

I talked to my mother every single day of my life. She lived on the other side of the state. My brother rarely called her. My husband and I bought her a house and moved her over to our side of the state when she was 88 years old. She constantly told me that X must be mad at her because he never called. Well, she broke her hip. I was in such a panic and so concerned with her and I will admit, I was mad at my bro and his wife for never coming to see her or take her anywhere, so I did not call them right away. I waited to see how long it would take them to call. Two weeks! It took a full 2 weeks before they ever checked on our 88 year old mother. I will also say that they begrudgingly came to see her 3 times in the 10 months that she lived in our area. If they had taken one weekend day a month to come and take her to Starbucks, it would have enriched her life so much. Nope. It was all on my shoulders and they acted mean when they did see her. Ugh. Don't live that way.

That is so true. What does it take to pick up the phone and call -- when you know how much it means to the person on the other end.

I can't seem to get this through to my brother ... it means so much to my mother when he calls. He just doesn't do it enough.

So true. Thank you for the reminder!