Be the Change You Wish to See...in Bed

When Gandhi said, “You must be the change you wish to see in the world,” sex was probably low on his list of priorities. Yet this quote is highly applicable for anyone who wants to achieve a better sex life. 

For most of us, it’s very easy to enter reactive mode when we’re talking about our sex lives. "We don’t have sex enough," or “Our sex life is totally boring" or "My significant other never initiates sex.” Pick a complaint. So you say you don’t have enough sex, but what actions have you taken to change that? Have you discussed with your partner how you feel and how he/she feels? Communication is the first step.

The second step falls on the significant other. Once you’ve heard the request, it’s time to open up with yourself and your partner. What’s holding you back from being in the mood more often? Stress? An illness? Young kids? Something else? If it turns out there are no real issues preventing you from getting busy, then you might want to initiate some nooky. You may not be "in the mood" when you start, but chances are highly likely that once you begin, you won’t be able to resist.

Perhaps the most important thing to remember is that when you approach your partner about spicing up your sex life, you should phrase it in a positive way. Do not go to your partner and say, “You never want to have sex with me.” That only antagonizes your partner, which of course, is not going to get anyone in the mood. Instead say something similar to, “When we don’t have sex for (insert time frame here), it makes me feel unwanted or unattractive. I want to feel closer to you.”

What change would you like to make happen in the bedroom? Did these tips help you make it happen? [MSNBC]