Wedding Planning Your Way

You’ve slipped on the ring, publicly declared your undying devotion to your dearest and drunk in the enthusiastic felicitations of family and friends. Basking in the afterglow of engagement is exhilarating—and the big wedding day probably seems like a distant dream.

But then comes the reality check.

Within a week of saying “I will,” well-meaning loved ones begin pumping you for the juicy details, including the date of your big wedding, who’s doing your catering and which flavor filling you’ve selected for your cake—all things you’ve barely begun to ponder. Between wedding planning pressures and adjusting to your identity as newly affianced, your enthusiasm may become tinged with worry.

Planning a wedding is accompanied by both pleasant and troubling emotional rumblings. You may soon discover that the process is exhilarating, exhausting and extremely difficult emotionally. “Of course getting engaged creates a lot of joy and excitement,” explains Alison Moir-Smith, a Boston-area bridal counselor and author of Emotionally Engaged: A Bride’s Guide to Surviving the “Happiest” Time of Her Life. “But many engaged people are shocked to discover that fear, grief and sadness can also surface. As happy as they are to be engaged, their life as a single person is over. There will never be another first kiss, and that can be scary.”

An estimated 2 million-plus couples become engaged each year—and it’s safe to assume that most will experience similar joys and pains during the wedding planning process. However, acknowledging and addressing the highs and lows of the first 30 days of planning a wedding can help you alleviate those emotional aftershocks.