It seems that family members ignore etiquette as they turn into possessed alter egos with every suggestion they think "you should do". You and your future hubby should consider all factors and decide on your own. If you're paying for everything, guilt or family responsibilities aren't good reasons to include anyone. You handle any decisions involving your family. He handles his family. You'll avoid building an evil sister-in-law rap.

In the end, those who love you now will love you later. The rest are only adding more stress to an already stressful time.

Good luck...and elope;-)

It depends on how close you are. If you're not, and you're having a small wedding, it's easiest to say you're reserving those spots for your own sibling or close friends. Ask your fiance's siblings to do a reading, be in the house party (ushers/attendants) or make toasts at the rehearsal dinner. There is definitely a way to include them without having them stand beside you that day!