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CNN business correspondent and co-author of Mavericks at Work...
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Co-author of The Carrot Principle and The 24-Carrot Manager
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A new job is great, until you find your boss or one of your co-workers can be more difficult to get along with than you thought!
Remember that everyone is coming from somewhere. Try to put yourself in the other person's shoes before you get frustrated. If you can see the other side, you'll be able to perform calmly under pressure and do a better job impressing everyone.
| "Ariane is a new voice who can inspire and inform all of us going through change, whether it be big or small, professional or personal. The First 30 Days will encourage people going through change to go from being fearful and alone to feeling optimistic and transformed."— David Bach, New York Times best-seller | "Since change is the only constant in life, it helps to have an expert navigate through the ups and downs of life. The First 30 Days is an excellent guide."— Deepak Chopra, New York Times best-seller | "Essential reading for anyone going through a change. I loved it!"— Wayne Dyer, New York Times best-seller |
Relocated from Florida to Texas for a great new job this year. It is really a great place to work. Great boss and only one challenging subordinate. I've taken some pretty bad jobs in the past but this one turned out to be a great move for me. Also, I've changed my perspective (and attitude) on life in the past couple of years and it, alone, has revolutionized my life. In Florida I was in a bad situation at work but I didn't allow it to color my whole world or my positive attitude. Made all the difference in the world, even though my outward (work) circumstances never changed I quit there and moved to Texas for a new job.
Past experience tells me that it doesn't matter how nice or how much respect you give a fellow employee or boss they can make your life a nightmare
1/ Avoid them as much as possible.
2/ Do as much as you can that they cannot find fault with your work.
3/ If they continually cause grief give as good as you get.
4/ If all else fails time to look for another job why be unhappy.
I took a self-assessment awhile back that provided me with a lot of great information, and one of the sections of this assessment addressed communicating and understanding the people we communicate with daily and the best ways to successfully communicate with them - it has been hugely helpful to me. I took the assessment through a life coach - but here is a link if anyone is interested in finding out more about taking an assessment. It was a very detailed report: Link
COMMUNICATION TIPS
This provides suggestions on methods which will improve communications with others. The tips include a brief description of typical people with whom you may interact. By adapting to the communication style desired by other people, you will become more effective in your communications with them. You may have to practice some flexibility in varying your communication style with others who may be different from yourself. This flexibility and the ability to interpret the needs of others is the mark of a superior communicator.
When communicating with a person who is ambitious, forceful, decisive, strong-willed, independent and goal-oriented:
* Be clear, specific, brief and to the point.
* Stick to business.
* Be prepared with support material in a well-organized "package."
Factors that will create tension or dissatisfaction:
* Talking about things that are not relevant to
the issue.
* Leaving loopholes or cloudy issues.
* Appearing disorganized.
When communicating with a person who is magnetic, enthusiastic, friendly, demonstrative and political:
*Provide a warm and friendly environment.
*Don't deal with a lot of details (put them in writing).
*Ask "feeling" questions to draw their opinions or comments.
Factors that will create tension or dissatisfaction:
* Being curt, cold or tight-lipped.
* Controlling the conversation.
* Driving on facts and figures, alternatives, abstractions.
When communicating with a person who is patient, predictable, reliable, steady, relaxed and modest:
* Begin with a personal comment--break the ice.
* Present your case softly, nonthreateningly.
* Ask "how?" questions to draw their opinions.
Factors that will create tension or dissatisfaction:
* Rushing headlong into business.
* Being domineering or demanding.
* Forcing them to respond quickly to your objectives.
When communicating with a person who is dependent, neat, conservative, perfectionist, careful and compliant:
* Prepare your "case" in advance.
* Stick to business.
* Be accurate and realistic.
* Factors that will create tension or dissatisfaction:
* Being giddy, casual, informal, loud.
* Pushing too hard or being unrealistic with deadlines.
* Being disorganized or messy.
I took a class called "Negotiating to Win" when I had responsibility for a multi-million dollar purchasing budget. It was a work-sponsored thing designed to make us more savvy contract negotiators. The main take away was about crafting the win/win solution by listening and putting yourself in the other person's shoes.
I'm no longer negotiating contracts, but it's good advice for negotiating life.