Why to Ask Yourself Why

If you want to change a particular attitude or behavior, you need to understand your underlying motives. The problem is, we tend to rationalize away the truth based on society’s expectations or on what we want to believe about ourselves.

For example, are you really working all that overtime to impress your boss, or are you trying to avoid a bad situation at home? As long as you’re in denial, you won’t be able to change your workaholic behavior, and you certainly won’t be able to address the real issue—your relationship with your spouse.

Throughout the day practice asking yourself why, particularly about troublesome issues, as in, "Why do I work so much?" Don’t try to come up with an answer. Quiet your mind and listen closely for an answer. When it comes, ask yourself “why” again and eventually, you’ll get down to an underlying motive. Knowing your enemy, as the saying goes, makes knowing what you need to do that much clearer.