Q&A
If you have questions about this change, you're in the right place. Our editors, experts, and community of change optimists have answers!
- Browse:
- Recent
- Popular
- Unanswered
Is there any truth to the seven year itch?
I read somewhere that relationships (marriages) are tested at certain points. The article said the pattern is something like after 3-4 years is a potential break up point, then after seven years, then around 10-11 years in and again after 20 years. It said that after 20 years if you're still together you have a better chance of staying together 'till death do us part.'
Does this seem about right to you?
That's a pretty accurate description. More often than not, the requirements of family/job take the spotlight after the honeymoon period and until the 20 year mark- getting the kids or parents out of the house. It's tough to go out and make a living, then have energy left over to be attentive to your mate. By the time dinner,homework,sports, or working from home is done there's not a lot of time to be a couple. This isn't an excuse, but an unfortunate reality. Making date nights and sticking to them, focusing solely on your partner only during that time and really listening to what's going with him/her helps smooth out those rough spots.
I've heard the 3 year thing for relationships, and that turned out to be true for me, and others I've known. I'm sure it's different for everyone, but it makes sense that there is ebb and flow.
I've been in a relationship for almost 11 years now, and from my experience I would definitely say the 7-year itch concept is true but the severity depends on how willing each side is to work at the relationship. You have to use your gut/intuition to know if it's worth salvaging if you're getting bored or you would both be better off going your separate ways. We had some major fights (and at least one breakup) at each point, but we always worked towards a resolution.
