Dontcha just love the smell of a fresh, plastic grocery bag? No? Well, maybe that’s because they’re made of PETROLEUM.

Green tea is better for you than coffee…yada, yada, yada…it lowers cholesterol, reduces infections, improves immune system, prevents tooth decay, and so on.

You really should be working on that report. Is there anything in the fridge for dinner? Don’t forget to pick up the cake. The gift—oh, no! Can you even make it to Susie’s conference by 2:00?

Anyone see “Pirates of the Caribbean 3”? Yo-ho-ho, ease up on the rum, buddy.